Has TV brought any great “monster families” to our homes since the ’60s-era Addams Family and Munsters? Anyone? I myself will have to think about that one and get back to you. Or maybe I should be working on a TV pilot script! What kind of “monster family” would you want to see on 21st Century Television? Not too long ago, we at The Crow’s Nest completed The Addams Family DVD collection, and this week, moved on to collecting The Munsters. Busier than hell [and hell's working overtime these days], we don’t have much time for TV anymore, so TV series DVDs tend to be “drool in front of the telly” material for us… usually at 3 or 4am. And of course with Corvo, the monster, the merrier!

It’s been wicked-fun watching both shows again as if for the first time, caught up in many “aha” moments that were most certainly missed through childhood eyes. Of course, with the Addams’, it’s all about sex. It’s amazing how coming of kinky-kooky-spooky age puts a whole new spin on a gleeful reference to “the rack” between a darkly amorous husband and wife. With The Munsters, the “aha” moments arise out of being a total horror nerd now, which I couldn’t have been at a young age, because my parents were a bit overprotective. To be fair, they were cool enough to let me watch Creature From the Black Lagoon in 3D, but that was about it for childhood horror… my horror geekdom really didn’t start until junior high, when I was able to sneak away to slumber parties that involved lots of snacks, lots of ’80s crap slasher films, and rampaging in grave yards in night gowns [that's a whole other blog entry]. Ah yes, the good ol’ days when Clive Barker’s hellraising seduced me and Wes Craven’s nightmares made me fear our friendly neighborhood Elm Street. But I digress. Now that I’m all “horror growed up,” I watch The Munsters and think, so many Universal Monsters, so little time! Hey, why didn’t I ever appreciate the raven clock [voiced by Mel Blanc aka Bugs Bunny]?! And lots of Hollywood pop culture references in general that I wouldn’t have quite understood at the time, including the rights to use a Beatles song ["I Wanna Hold Your Hand"] in season one, when a rock band uses the haunted homestead as a party crash pad, and then it turns into “open mic night” with the town beatniks.

As an adult viewer, I feel a sort of… irony of the eras when I watch The Addams Family and The Munsters. That the very things that tend to frighten conservative people now, were actually disarming during “The Pleasantville Era.” The families’ strangeness, fashion sense included, was disarming and charming, rather than alarming to mainstream, prim-and-proper audiences. I often wonder what some people must have felt at a deeper level while laughing at the fiendish families’ reckless abandon, gleeful irreverence, open sexuality and acceptance of “fringe” people, like beatniks, Bohemians and rock stars… hell, The Addams’ invited Russians into their home! This was during the Cold War! *gasp* Did some people wish that they could be so bold and brave, and so effortlessly? I have a feeling I would have.

While reveling in the strange, macabre, yet innocent world-view of the families and feeling both shocked and disarmed, did some “Ward and June” types feel a little wistful? On the inside, did they kind of wish that mom had more of a “say” in the family, and that kids could be treated like little adults, and that uncles could light up a room with their mouths, and that “honey, let’s build a ‘honeymoon torture chamber’ to spice up the bedroom” could be freely suggested? Did they understand just how much The Munsters and Addams Family poked fun of their “vanilla” lives, or was it just another sitcom? In a sense, looking at it now with an analytical view and as one that works in art and in television, it feels like these shows were “crossroads shows” that depicted a shift in some people that were brave enough to go against a conservative tide and start pursuing a path that wasn’t quite up to “Ward and June” standards. [Fuck The Cleavers, right]?

I’d always considered myself more of an Addams Family enthusiast than a Munster-maniac, but I’ve gotta say, I really underestimated the intelligence of The Munsters. Make no bones about it, The Munsters will always be the more slapstick-y of the two, but at the black heart of the show, there’s some pretty clever stuff in there, if you look for it. What I enjoy most about The Munsters now is that they shot the show on The Universal lot, and being a Universal show, they [of course] were able to cash in on the Universal Monsters franchise, from sets to characters, which I wouldn’t have recognized as a kid. So from time to time, you’ll see a couple of members of “the family” stop by, like The Creature From the Black Lagoon and The Wolfman. It was also interesting to watch the pilot episode of The Munsters. The original Lilly Munster looked a hella lot like Morticia Addams [pretty smokin' hot], and the show was actually more mean-spirited in its original concept, with Eddie acting more like Cujo, and Herman and Lilly relating to each other like Fred and Ethel rather than Lucy and Ricky. It would have grown annoying really fast, and the powers that be were smart to play it fun, lighthearted and naive… but again, if you look for it, there’s more sharp writing in there than you’d think, most often tailor-made for the ever-biting delivery of the brilliant Al Lewis as Grandpaw.

It seems to me that both shows accomplished what great macabre art, horror and comedy always tend to accomplish: find the pulse of a new social heartbeat and bring it home in sarcastic, sardonic, satirical layers…even today, The Addams Family and The Munsters are a breath of fresh air to watch, and with each viewing as an adult, I have so much fun being a monster-loving kid again.

[ Filterbank Abusers Unite! ]

The Cart
First off, Amazon now offers the special edition CD for the same price as the regular CD oh wait, I’m sorry. The special edition CD is a penny more than the regular. *shaking my fist* You bastards. Seriously, no-brainer, there. Night Eternal Special Edition: sold. *ka-ching!* View shopping cart: Night Eternal Special Edition + book that I’ve wanted for ages. Both items covered by prime membership = free 2-day shipping for me, *ka-ching!* But… I don’t want to wait two whole days… I don’t believe in bit-torrenting [it goes against my nature as a musician]. Hmm… computer speakers and flash streaming just isn’t cutting it anymore, and it’s Friday night, dammit, I want to listen to Night Eternal now-now-now-now-now! [That was my Herman Munster tantrum]. Update shopping cart: full album MP3 download + Special Edition CD + book I’ve wanted for ages. *ka-ching!* Sold to the crazy pig-tailed metal head.

Sidebar: I Believe in Music Karma Faeries
Yes, it’s true: I purchased Night Eternal twice. It’s just a fact: my music consumption habits straddle two worlds, that of the physical collector, and that of the instant gratification digital consumer. It’s probably a good thing that I never got deeply attached to vinyl [love the sound, hate the warping]. So I admit, I do sometimes buy MP3s first, and then buy the physical CDs later. I double-dip. Into my wallet. For my favorite bands. I figure, enough people probably steal their music anyway, so I’d like to think that maybe I’m helping set the scales back into balance in some small way. I also figure, it can’t hurt to spread some good musician mojo around, right? Call it karma, and call it a day? While I’m confessing, I’ve done this for two other bands, at least. Stream of Passion, Apocalyptica and Dimmu Borgir… okay, three… no, four, including Moonspell. /Sidebar

Try the NIGHT ETERNAL Diet and Be Instantly Transformed!
BEFORE:

AFTER:

The Perfect Drug
After a difficult day at the loathsome 9-5, and then another eight hours working on Corvo, the work I’d rather be immersed in all day, I’d mapped out a perfect 16-hour work day exhaustion escape plan. I loaded up the CD player with my burned MP3s, turned off all the lights [except for that white-light holiday strand that's never unplugged], poured a glass of red wine, and soaked in the sounds of Night Eternal from a *proper* stereo [and a pretty f^cking loud one, too]. All this at around 2:30 AM. SO perfect. A little delirious from fatigue, slightly numb, very comfortable in the dark, and greatly in need of going someplace far, far away in my mind for a while. Of course, purring cats involved themselves in this escape plan… my cats love metal, it actually calms them.

…what’s so cool about Moonspell as artists, is that they’re not following the latest “Goffik trends,” this is just… who they are… and they just may “turn” you if you don’t cover your necks.

School of Metal
G9 was there next to me, so at times throughout the CD, “musician nerd-speak” would ensue, with talk of things like lyrics, mood, gear estimates, melodies, orchestral elements… like our own musical “In Search Of…” complete with mystery, theory and conjecture. Even when huge fans of a band, we still can’t help but treat the experience of a new album or new concert as school… we can’t help but wander down the path of, “How did they do that? Can we be that effective, and how?” [We draw the line at pocket protectors]. But with Night Eternal, the album was so gripping, we mostly enjoyed the journey together in silence, saving every musician’s note for when the musical notes took us to our final destination.

I Never Drink…
While listening to Fernando’s opening words of “At Tragic Heights” [from the book of Revelation, of course], the same image that hits me often when I hear his voice, hit me again: Gary Oldman’s Dracula. And I can’t help but imagine him [Fernando, not Gary] saying to me, “Welcome… to my…. hhhhh…home.” In this inner-dialogue, I omit the part about “I never drink… wine,” because I know for a fact that Fernando does indeed drink wine. [Wouldn't it be cool if he drank Corvo wine]? At any rate, water, wine, blood, Snapple… it doesn’t really matter what he drinks, it will not change the fact that Fernando Ribeiro is the reincarnation of Vlad Tepes… at least, Vlad’s inner rock-god… and Lestat, you’ve got nothing on my visions of Fernando rocking the impaler. *cough*

Six Feet Under the Influence
As each track unfolded, I swear, every time I opened my eyes, I was another foot under ground. By the end of the album, I was literally in a coffin. I don’t know where it came from, but there I was, clad in funeral garb, laying in a coffin. Cobwebs everywhere, doors squeaking for no reason… in unison… mice running across the ceiling, succubi eating babies all around me. It was… out. of. control. What I’m trying to say is that Night Eternal is Gothic as f^ck, people! But… in a very authentic way. Everything I love about Gothic art, architecture, literature and film is present in this album, and what’s so cool about Moonspell as artists, is that they’re not following the latest “Goffik trends,” this is just… who they are… and they just may “turn” you if you don’t cover your necks.

Night Eternal Re-Animated
The special edition CD arrived the following Tuesday, and I jumped around the house yelling, “a penny, a penny, a penny, a penny!” This CD is a thing of beauty. It’s a high quality digipak, very thoughtfully designed with the Devil in the details. It includes a wicked-cool keepsake sticker of the album cover, as well as a lyric booklet dripping with dark art and gorgeous band photos. As if the collector quality of the packaging isn’t enough, the special edition CD also includes three bonus tracks, and a DVD, complete with three live performances from Wacken Open Air, including fan-favorite Finesterra, and one of my favorites, Memento Mori [both from another Moonspell masterpiece, Memorial]. Along with live performance clips, the DVD includes the official video for Finesterra, a behind-the-scenes short video, and… and… the reason why I’m so happy I sprung for that extra penny and bought the special edition: the video for “Luna.” I swear, the bittersweet beauty of the tragically whimsical visuals and melancholic melodies swept me up into a black magic carpet-ride. No pixels, no fuzzy mono-tracks or sub-standard stereo coming from crap computer speakers… this is why I’m not quite convinced that Internet video will ever be a replacement for “real” TV. As “Luna” completed the viewing experience of Night Eternal, G9 turned to me and said, “Did they jump into our heads and rip that video right out of us?” Well… holy head like a hole, G-Man, I do believe they did.

In short, this is one of the best albums of the year, and definitely, one of the best ever by Moonspell. Do with that what you will.

So tell me: What do you think of Moonspell? Do you like the music? How about the videos? If not, why not? Do your pets like metal? Have you seen my teeth? [ Register -Free- To Comment on Moonspell and Metalhead Pets! ]

Warning: the last video in this playlist, “I’ll See You in My Dreams” is NSFW… that is, unless your boss doesn’t mind seeing decapitations, gore and zombies running about… [hey, if your boss doesn't mind, may I apply to where you work]?

I can’t help but look at that shot of Asia Argento in The Filth, and think to myself, with a father like that, who needs enemies? What a fascinating father-daughter dynamic. Not quite like my artistic father-daughter dynamic, in which we performed a duet of “Rainbow Connection” for my first ever opera audition. In later years, I think the craziest we ever got was when dad learned Over the Hills and Far Away on the guitar, and I sang like Robert Plant. But you know… if dad asked me to practically drown in entrails thirteen-plus hours a day, I’d gladly do it, because that would mean I’m starring in a Dario Argento film! What? You need to literally drill a hole into my cranium to get just the right blood squirt for this scene, and then insert a metal plate into my skull not to cover the hole, but to use the metal as an electric conductor for shooting 227,849 volts through my nose, so that when the killer tries to lobotomize me, he’ll blow up, and I’ll run around the room with my head on fire? Yes father, I’ll do it… because you’re Dario Argento and I’m starring in your film!

VIDDY-EWWW: Seen La Terza Madre? Did you survive? What did you think? Do you dare? [Register -Free- To Comment on La Terza Madre + Dario Argento!]

The depth of Asia’s filth and pain-threshold is astounding, and in La Terza Madre, I started to think, wow, she’s kind of getting through this one like she’s in a Jerry Bruckheimer film, or something… until the scene from that photo up there ^. Wow… it’s… a force of nature to watch her trudge through it all. Even though La Terza Madre is, as Dethklok would declare, f^cking brutal, complete with blood, boobs, impaling, baby eating and more [for one very low price], this film made me laugh. Out loud. A lot. I know, it’s totally sick, but I giggled like crazy through the whole thing. So what if all of Italy and the world gets raped, pillaged, and possessed by ancient demons, this is opera at its finest. As I watched old Mater Lachrymarum’s witch-brigade trolling about, acting like The Pïnkk Läydeez, I was reminded of the years I’d spent in opera performing in the women’s choruses. Part of the reason why I love Argento’s work so much is that I recognize that it’s Italian horror opera… maybe that’s why I’m able to take the brutality in-stride. You could say that death in vivid colors takes me back to fond memories of watching people die when I was in grade school… characters in my operas, sillies, not real people!

G9′S ARGENTO TOP 5:
Suspiria
Tenebre
Inferno
La Terza Madre
Deep Red

NiNi’S ARGENTO TOP 5:
Suspiria
La Terza Madre
Do You Like Hitchcock?
Pelts
Opera

Another reason Argento’s films resonate with me as opera, is the importance placed on the music. In La Terza Madre, Claudio Simonetti’s score delivers a powerful “character” to the film in what I would consider one of the best film scores ever made, and definitely up-to-snuff with his Suspiria score. The final [closing credits] track “Mater Lacrimarum,” performed by Daemonia, with guest vocalist Dani Filth, is a horror music masterpiece. When I first heard it, I just wanted to loop it over and over again for days… seriously… and I did!

On that [literal] note, I’ve enclosed Mater Lacrimarum herein for your listening pleasure.

If “Mater Lacrimarum” resonates with you, please show your support by visiting Daemonia on mySpace, adding them to your fiends list, listening to more [as G9 would say], melodies of horror, and downloading some free tracks! It’s Italian horror metal with progressive rock sophistication, and they’re truly one of our hugest inspirations.

Finally, for we who’ve been following these Argento witches for so many years, La Terza Madre goes out with a bang, providing perfect closure for The Three Mothers Trilogy, all the way down to casting Udo Kier and Daria Nicolodi [and of course, our beloved Asia]. Still, this film [much like Dario Argento] isn’t for everyone… how about you? [Register -Free- To Comment on La Terza Madre and Dario Argento!]

[ G9's Review of La Terza Madre Soundtrack ] [ G9's Exclusive Interview With Daemonia ]

Can I steal your mind for a while?
Can I stop your heart for a while?
Can I freeze your soul and your time?
Scorpion flower, Token of death
Ignite the skies with your eyes
And keep me away from your light

Surrender tears to your mortal act
Flower cursed be thy fruit
Of your courage last
Of your grand finale
Flower crushed in the ground
In your empty heart
In the breast that feeds
Flower worn in the dark
~From SCORPION FLOWER, Moonspell Featuring Anneke van Giersbergen

[ Newsletter Subscribers, Click Here to Stream the Album in a New Window ]

If you only have time to listen to one track on this widget, I highly recommend Scorpion Flower [track #4] featuring the amazing voice of Anneke van Giersbergen. To stream the album, just click on the middle “slot” when you mouse over the widget image. You can click on individual songs… the player doesn’t confine you to listening to the whole album, although… if listening to the whole album is “confinement,” throw away the key, because in my opinion, this is a perfect album… at least, perfect for me!

My thoughts in “real time” as I listened to the stream:

Holy Jeebus, I’m only on track one ["At Tragic Heights"] of Moonspell’s new album, Night Eternal, and I’ve already decided to buy it the moment I get paid Friday. See? Label streams entire album online, consumer is willing to buy said album. It’s called “the new era of music sales,” and it’s really not that difficult to let people listen for free as part of the whole purchasing experience. Of course, it’s gotta be a great album if the label’s confident enough to let people “try before they buy,” so that alone is a no-brainer for we who devour music… free online album streams and embeddable widgets are the new “perceived value” of music pricing. But enough with my “industry research” observations and onto the album…

Oh wow, [ex-The Gathering's] Anneke van Giersbergen [one of my vocal heroes] contributes to the song “Scorpion Flower?” Right on! I’m really digging the female vocal seasonings throughout the album… I’m going to spring for the special edition if it hasn’t already sold out. I’ll definitely do a follow-up on the actual [physical] CD soon…

Make no mistake about it, we plan to “try before buy” Telltale… wonder where we could score a nifty l’il widget like this one? I bet SPV had to pay a pretty penny to MySpace for it… but what a worthwhile investment.

On Track #3 now, and wetting my pants… I looooove this album!

The flash player is of exceptional audio quality, too.

Uh oh… now on Anneke’s song, “Scorpion Flower”. It’s breathtaking! I would buy the album just for this song alone. [Loved it so much, had to post the lyrics].

Finished the album stream: fantastic, fantastic, fantastic!

If you like it, feel free to download [do not "hot-link" to it though, pretty-please!] and use it for non-commercial whatevs. If you would like a higher resolution version if this image, drop a comment here and let me know your email address… I’ll send you a zip file of it.

If you use this image for your profiles/websites, a little “shout out” to me and a link back to this site would be very appreciated!
-NiNi

When my dad and I traveled the roller coaster circuit every Six Flags summer, I used to scream “Daddy, do something!” Then we’d both scream: “Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” all the way down that first big drop. Now, I tend to scream this when I’m in the tub and I picture myself in a teeny-tiny raft, falling down the water pouring out of the faucet…

Today, I present a l’il YouTube fun straight outta my ’70s past. It’s a gem, a true gem, and I remember watching this episode as if it happened at lunch time.

Notes to Self:

1. As a kid, I used to feel sorry for Cha-ka… now, he kinda creeps me out more than Sleestaks.

2. Let me rock you, Cha-ka kan.

3. In Cha-kanese, Sleestak = Sareesataka! The moment I learned this today, I also learned that I have a rare disease called Sareesataka! Tourette’s Syndrome.

4. Holly is ME. I would totally be naming all of the dinosaurs pet names and thinking that they’re cute… that is, until I saw their teeth up-close.

5. OMG, how did I never notice the backup vocals in the opening song: “Lost-lost-lost-lost!”

6. I think I still kind of have a crush on “Will.” Tee-hee!

A Couple of Questions for You:

1. With an older a fresh, grown-up view of the show, which do you find creepier now, Cha-ka or the Sleestaks?

2. Sareesataka??!!!

A Little Personal History

When my dad and I traveled the roller coaster circuit every Six Flags summer, I used to scream “Daddy, do something!” Then we’d both scream: “Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” all the way down that first big drop. Now, I tend to scream this when I’m in the tub and I picture myself in a teeny-tiny raft, falling down the water pouring out of the faucet… and yes, as the audiences watches my teeny tiny raft plunge into the abyss that is the bath water, the CGI effects are just as awful. [So what about my bath time rubber ducky dinosaurs]?!

Sareesataka!

“I speak with the devil every day. I talk to him in Latin. He answers in Italian. I have been wrestling with him, day in day out, for 14 years.”
-Father Gabriel Amorth, World-Famous Exorcist

1. There is an International Association of Exorcists? It was founded in 1993, it’s very difficult to become a member [damn darn damn], and there’s an annual conference held every year. In 2004, 500 members attended the conference held in Mexico. [Fly-on-the-wall-powers, *activate!* Shape of: a fly. Form of: a spy.]

2. Italian is The Devil’s Tongue.
“I speak with the devil every day. I talk to him in Latin. He answers in Italian. I have been wrestling with him, day in day out, for 14 years.” -Father Gabriel Amorth, World-Famous Exorcist [Italian? I thought for sure it would be something more romantic, like... oh I dunno, Dagonese? What, you've reserved that language for me alone, oh Infernal One? Ia! Ia! Kutulu Zi Kur!]

3. Not necessarily a piece of demonic trivia-nuggetry, but quite possibly one of the best article names I’ve ever read, ever:
SO YOU WANT TO PERFORM AN EXORCISM: HERE IS WHAT IT TAKES

4. Exorcists will not be out of jobs any time soon. Again, feeling a bit bummed that it’s so difficult to join the *IAE. [*Abbreviation = I'm all savvy and insider-y about exorcists professional exorcists now].

5. Hell is in Michigan. This means that Hell freezes over at least one season a year.

And now, I leave you with a final demonic image. While frolicking about the interwebs searching for a deeper understanding of exorcism and demonic possession [with great Monster Mondays comes great responsibility], I found it in black-and-white. Google’s *deal* with You-Know-Who [yes, Yahoo and Satan] for world domination revealed through Ad Sense [Is that a yes or no question?] ——>

1985 Presents…
The Debut EP by SNATCH:
If The Party is in Your Mouth…We’re Coming!

Now… why only one debut EP in the Snatch discography? I know why: they were actually way ahead of their time. Had mySpace existed in 1985, these guys would have exploded [ew] onto the scene… I don’t even need to hear their music to know this.

Special thanks to [ Metal Mark ] for helping me set such a high precedent in this very first edition of *drum stick twirl* Bad Hair [Band] Day.

Click the image to enlarge… if you dare.